It’s often said that there’s nothing that a hot cup of tea can’t fix; which is of course utter nonsense. Here is a list of just a few things that a hot cup of tea won’t fix:

• A nosebleed
• A flat tire
• The class divide
• Broken clocks
• Third-World debt
• Flood damage
• A craving for heroin
• Herpes
• Bike chains
• The mental stability of an abused child
• Split ends
• A fractured wrist
• Wonky teeth
• Wonky eyes
• Door hinges

As you can see, on balance, there’s actually very little a cup of tea can fix. It can fix a parched throat, certainly – but it’s powers are quite limited beyond that.