“I can survive

On just salads and meal-shakes”

“Oh, I’ll just have an apple”

But wait – what’s that?

A tray of biscuits – plain and coated

“Oh I mustn’t!” You say

To everyone; “Oh no – I can’t!”

You insist. You tell anyone

Who will listen, that the physical

Act of you lifting

One of those biscuits

Placing it in your mouth

And eating it

Simply isn’t going to happen

“No!” you scream “No – never!”

“Tattoo me now” you say

“Tattoo me now with the words

‘I will never eat one of these biscuits

Right here that I’m angled over

With my right hand hovering

Over; like an osprey’

Obviously

Don’t tattoo the whole thing

But a summary will suffice

A summary that states

That this imagined event will

SIMPLY

NEVER

HAPPEN

Not in a million years, so long

As I’m alive – I swear down

On my own life

And those of my own children

And my caring husband

Of twelve years

That I will never be broken

The lady, is not for turning

Bets are off

Because there is zero chance

I’d rather

HACK OFF MY OWN BLOODY ARM

Than indulge in this false happiness

This chocolate

Baked

Edible representation

Of all that is wrong with the world

This symbol

Of gluttony and a fat, greedy, uncaring

Western world

If there is any kind of a God

Up above; may he strike me down

WHERE I STAND

(With my head now above the tray

And my fingers collecting melting chocolate)

If I live

Another 40 YEARS, I will never

Ever

Not even once

Pick up a

OH MY GOD I’VE EATEN FIVE

“I’m so naughty” you repeat, endlessly

Before taking a quiet moment

To sob and reflect

On your shallow, yet seemingly

Unattainable dreams

(Diet starts tomorrow)