The time for making and almost certainly breaking New Year’s resolutions has now passed. However very soon a lot of you will be attempting to abstain from something for Lent; be it chocolate, alcohol, child-trafficking or even chocolate. Jesus allegedly spent forty days in the wilderness resisting Satan. Conversely, many people pay tribute to this feat every year by spending forty days resisting Cadbury. Hmm.

But what about something other than denial of desires this year? How about changing slight aspects of your life to reap huge benefits? Here are some suggestions:

Set short-term goals. You’ve heard this one before – but I’m talking really short­-term goals. Start with ‘waking up’. That one’s easy and it gives you a real kick-start to your day. Maybe add ‘catch the bus’ and feel the sense of achievement as you step on and tear your ticket off! At Lunch times­ I make it a personal goal to find a decent cheese-orientated, packet-sandwich in Town. This is tricky however and isn’t recommended for everyone.

Do you like watching DVD’s but have too many to get through them all? Is your Sopranos Box-set glaring at you despondently from beneath your TV stand? Foreign art films piling up unloved in their cellophane wrappers, impressing far less people than you think? Start watching them all at glorious 1.5X speed! Most DVD players have this setting – just push fast-forward once and begin watching your insurmountable back-log of films and lavish American dramas in two-thirds of the time! You’ll barely notice the change in vocal pitch after a while. You might even think reality sounds slow!

Consider becoming good friends with someone you feel comfortably better than. This ego-inflating technique, usually reserved for ostensibly attractive, vacant females is increasingly becoming popular with people from all walks of life. Be it physically, intellectually or aesthetically, having an inferior in your company can do wonders for the self-esteem and make you appear great by way of relative comparison!

Fancy an exciting career change but finding that there’s nothing at the job centre? Pop along to the nearest fancy-dress store and buy/hire out a job-themed outfit. Make a few arrests, extinguish a few fires or instruct confused air passengers on how to disembark an aircraft in the event of an emergency landing. Hey – if you’re good they might just hire you!

‘Prune’ your social interactions. If a conversation at work is dragging on, yell ‘CRIKEY I AM BORED!’ in a comedic voice and turn away, back to your spreadsheet. Want to avoid small talk in the street? Apologise, say that you’re nearly out of credit and carry on walking – people just accept it these days.

Or, finally, think of the year ‘2010’ not as a fresh start but as a continuation of 2009. Spare yourself the haunting sense of failure in the first half of the year by ignoring the abstract notion that anything’s different, go about your day – and have a little fun, damnit.