Hello! It’s me! That fella off the panel shows! LOL. Josh! I mean Russel! Erm sorry, was it Andrew? Or Susan? Hey! I mean we’re all bilinguasexual aren’t we?! Ha! Take a look at this clip!

Ah sorry, I forgot the format there for a second and thought there was a clip there when there wasn’t! Aren’t otters funny!? And SO fucking adorable, but just genuinely laugh out loud hilarious, the way they behave! I’ve got a new series, on BBC3, It’s shown on Wednesdays but you can watch the repeat now before it ever goes to air, which it won’t! At least not on a real station! Lol! I fucking love otters, they’re SO mad – aren’t they?! The way they… you know… I suppose we’re a lot like otters in a way aren’t we? I say that to my girlfriend who is, I’ll say it now, so much better at Fifa than me it is unreal! I’m not even joking, literally – I mean I am, obviously, because I’m a comedian! Lol! IMAGINE if I wasn’t! Joking, that is… Imagine if I wasn’t joking – you’d be like ‘hey what mate?! I paid good money for this – I could’ve had two trips to Nandos for the money I coughed up on this ticket!’

Haha Nandos is great – I take my girlfriend there all the time! Honestly, no honestly I do – but it’s her! Honestly! You should see her pile away that chicken! I was literally concerned that they were going to be extinct by desert! You know what I mean! Lol! I hope otters never go extinct! Ha na I really hope they don’t or I would literally break down – I wouldn’t leave the house for weeks! I’d just stay in, playing Fifa while my girlfriend destroys me! Crying my eyes out. Fucking love otters, they’re so cool! Have you seen them? If I ever win the lottery or something, I’m opening up a massive sanctuary or something – or just like, convert my house into one big otter theme park! Imagine that! Imagine! I’ve already drawn up the plans! Lol! Honestly, this is the kind of mad stuff that goes on in my head sometimes – I put most of it down into the script for the new BBC3 series I’ve just done. I called it Russell, or Sam… Or something, whatever my name is basically! Lol! Tricky things aren’t they? Names. Tell you what, if I was an otter I wouldn’t bother with a name – I literally wouldn’t! They probably don’t use names do they? Just spend all day swimming around being legends and chilling on logs! Amazing! I’d be like that, just doing a backstroke all day, tucking into some takeaway Nandos on the side… Lol – I don’t know what Otters eat!

Tell you what though, your average otter would probably do better than me against my girlfriend on Fifa! Honestly, I get an absolute hiding, it’s embarrassing! Not like, because she’s female, like we’re literally equal in everything me and my girlfriend, and I love it, I love her being equal to me, it’s amazing I love her so much, but like it’s embarrassing getting beat by anyone like that, know what I mean? Like, Beefy Baz, my mate from Essex, absolute legend – he beats me pretty hard too, and I’m just as embarrassed as I am when I’m being drilled by her, absolute truth! So brutal. Mad thing about Baz though, right, get this – is that he doesn’t like otters! LOL! I’m not even joking! Seriously! He’s like ‘nah I don’t see it’ – WHAT A MENTALIST! Who doesn’t like otters!? He is nuts, honestly! So maddddd… You should see him get through a plate of Nandos! No wonder he’s so beefy! Haha! Such a character – he’s such a character I was like ‘mate, you are going in the sitcom’ no arguments, no discussion. The world needs to know the way of Beefy Baz! Lol! Anyway, speaking of absolute characters, take a look at the next clip of this guy playing Fifa with-

Ah yeah…

Looks like I forgot the format again! Lol! Was too busy thinking of my other life as an otter playing Fifa and eating Nandos with my awesomely equal just-like-Beefy-Baz girlfriend who I love so much!

LOL!!!